Starting Over (Part 3 of 3): Endless Possibilities

“I feel a new beginning coming towards me, and I’m running to it with open arms.”

Have you ever considered where you would go if you could go anywhere? Or what you would do if you could do anything? It’s exciting to think about what we could do if we didn't have our current responsibilities or obligations holding us back. Even if we are satisfied with where we are in our lives, there may be times when we just want to escape, to do something different, or even to be someone different.

When faced with the prospect of starting over, there is no choice but to consider the possibilities. Well, I suppose one could sit and wallow in the misery and sadness of the situation--but where’s the fun in that? And where, seriously, is the future in that?

Stop and think for a moment about what might be possible if you had nothing to hold you back. What have you always wanted to do, to try, to become? Choosing to do or become something different than what you did or were in the past is not a betrayal of what you were before, but I see it as an acknowledgement that that part of your life is over, and now you are in a different place at a different time, and you are given the opportunity to start over. Perhaps it’s hard to accept this place, since maybe you didn't want to start over. That’s fair. I didn't want to start over, either, but one day I found myself in a life I barely recognized, where everything I had known for the past several decades was either gone or unrecognizably altered, and I had a choice to make. Pull the covers over my head and cry, or consider how I was going to get out of bed and continue to live a life I could be proud of.

I wish I could say the choice was easy and the execution was smooth, but it wasn’t. The transition took months--in fact, it’s still happening--and what I've gone through is very similar to the five stages of coping with death--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Initial denial that anything happened at all, and it was all just a very bad dream. Anger that it was, in fact, a reality. Trying to bargain my way back into some semblance of what my life was before. Depression when I realized that simply wasn't going to happen. And, finally, acceptance of the situation as it was, and of the need to move forward while making peace with the past. This is a simple explanation of a process that was difficult, even brutal, at times, and left me in the dark more times than I can count. There have been days I’ve chosen the covers and crying. But there have been more days that I’ve put my feet on the floor and tried to face the day with hope and joy. And I work towards more of that.